a season of being unsure

{ for warning: this is a draft }

For over the past year I’ve undergone a season of being unsure. Unsure how to live my faith out at home, unsure how to find new friends my age, unsure what my next step is. Doing my best in not allowing fear of the unknown to determine how I live; it’s been a constant process of taking blind steps into all sorts of new directions.  As I am constantly coming up with new ideas; I am quickly overwhelmed by my options in hand. Many times now it has led me to no choice but to try.

One of my close friends and leader Courtney once shared with me in Croatia:

“If you don’t know what path to choose, start walking down one….either a door will close and you’ll know to turn around and choose the next one, or the path will continue and you’ll know that was where you’re supposed to be all along.”

I feel like so many of us quickly get frozen in times of making decisions. Unsure what will lead us on a better path, we have anxiety – freak out – get stressed, and put off deciding till it’s too late or we are forced to. By that time we more than likely have worn ourselves out. If we’re talking in regards to ‘hearing God’s voice,’ it’s easy for me as a Christian to do the same. Wait, worry, and stand still, undone by the fear that one choice isn’t ‘God’s will’ for my life. All while there’s still work to be done, experiences to have, and love to spread; I’m too busy obsessing over what my next step is, and what the outcome of a decision will look like.

In this realization, I’ve been more proactive in letting go and taking each day one step at a time. For the things I am curious about, whether that be a career field or hobby, I give myself a tester taste. If it doesn’t work out, move on. Take away what I learned, find gratefulness in the journey, and keep walking.

Practicing this in my own journey has lead to both big and small failures, and it hasn’t been all that easy. It’s usually not fun to fail or feel like you wasted your time. Yet, if you never try you’ll never know. And if you commit prior to trying, you might later get stuck.

I’ve learned that many questions don’t have answers, and some answers just come in due time…or with the right experience. No one can tell us what career will provide for our families, who ‘the one’ is, what will make us happy next week, where to live, or why these things happen.

I’ve learned to honestly take life one day at a time, and be confident in my ability to make decisions. I’d tell others to give every positive opportunity a chance, give yourself a break when making mistakes, and DO NOT RUSH (even when the world says you should).

Make the most out of the season you’re in. You may not be your happiest, look your best, be living your healthiest, working your dream job, living where you want, or have the support you desire; but we are always on the way to those places (if we choose to be). So keep on going, continue to try new things, be intentional, press in, stay focused, keep learning; but also relax and enjoy today.

Life is too precious to hold a grudge, hold back, and hold on.

Take your time figuring out what you like, and remember – you don’t have to like everything you try; because, everything you try isn’t going to be for you.

Let’s start being more okay with being unsure. Feeling discomfort may just be a reminder that we aren’t done yet. My goal is to always have fun.

Hitting a pinata blindfolded is never not enjoyable… unless you accidentally hit a bystander with the plastic bat… let us not do that. Choose your target, and keep swinging,

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